Off and running…

Off and running, quite literally, for my first couple miles of this project! It was two miles, it was not the most challenging run of my life, but that’s not the point. The point is to start. 1 run down, 364 to go!

The Countdown

Tomorrow is the big day. The day I've chosen to start running, and not stop, until this day next year. Since my decision, about two weeks ago during my half-marathon, I've been running a bit of a countdown in my head. Really it's energized me to think that soon I won't have any more excuses or reasons to be lazy for an entire evening (but really I'll be lazy for most of it and go run for a few miles as well!)

I've been working on motivating myself, re-talking myself into this plan, and getting psyched that it is starting tomorrow. It's also made me think about the future. Where I will be in one year. It is cliche to say time flies by, but it does. A year ago this week I was here. I was on a trip to try to convince someone, anyone, to give me a job. I was in a dark place. Sometimes that does seem like a long time ago but really the journey between then and now has been very short. In just one year I will be here again saying how just a year ago I started running for 365 days.

What will be different in a year? Will we still live in DC? Will we be closer to starting a family? Will I have a different job? The only thing I can know for sure is that I'll be one year older.

Today is the youngest you will ever be; Introducing 365.

“Today is the youngest you will ever be” used to be my mantra. I would use it to motivate me to get out, see the world, express myself, live life. Now it just sounds depressing. This is the youngest I will be? Today? When I take the elevator and skip the stairs and huff and puff up a pretty small huge hill everyday? Then what will it be like five years from now? What about ten years?

I make excuses. I start a million projects and only complete five. It used to be adorable but now it sort of gets in the way of being an adult. Especially when your house is the size of your pinky toe and bringing home all the materials to make your own pottery, because hey, you just might one day, coupled with that decision to build a shelf right in the middle of your bedroom, just no longer seems to fit. Shit is starting to get real and I need to rise to the challenge.
What if I figured out a way to take excuses away? What if I could do something that turned the years back instead of forward? What if I could actually finish one damn thing that I start?
Then an idea started to form. I have to admit I had exercise, in the form of running, on the brain as I was only a week away from my third half marathon. I thought, could I just train for another race?Another schedule tapped on the fridge? Another set of expectations I will most likely not live up to?

No. NO MORE EXCUSES. That’s when I thought of doing a 365 day program. 365 days to turn 360 degrees and move towards a healthier me instead of a 365 day older me. A way to erase excuses and hold myself to a new standard. I would run every day, rain or shine, for 365 consecutive days.
Doing this would turn something that has become a chore into a habit. Then I thought through it. Would I run when on vacation? Yes. What about the day of my brother’s weeding? I’ll get up early. What about when I’m sick? I’ll only run a mile. I’ve chosen a start date: March 30. I will blog about it to keep myself accountable and sane. Welcome to the 365 Project!

2011 Can Bite Me

There are a lot of reasons that bloggers close their computers and disappear for a while. A move. A big life change. Apathy. All of these things happened to me. Not that I was a barrel of sunshine and happiness in the first few months of 2011, but after my holding pattern came to an end and I was preparing to move and start a new job 2011 actually got worse. A couple weeks after moving I went through a major family tragedy. My beloved grandmother died after a long struggle with heart failure. I had taken care of her for the past ten years and with her passing my life shifted in a major way. During this time my entire family leaned on me for support and I found myself withdrawing from certain things, like this project and my husband and eating well and brushing my hair and wearing pants when I didn't need to.

Baby Girl and I  (her Godmother) at her baptism

I won't dwell, although I'm sure it will come up in the future. I started hating 2011. This year brought me unemployment, death, and near death of loved ones, funerals, and financial strain. I tried to focus on the one great thing from 2011, my niece (Baby Girl,) who I started to call our angel and our blessing. She was born two weeks before the roller coaster started going up and down and holding on to her during a lot of the darker times made life seem worth it all. (Yes, this is a pretty heavy post for a welcome back!)

I would sit with my computer open searching for way to update this community or to fake happiness and blog about cooking (which I had stopped doing) or activities (which I had also stopped doing.) But I couldn't quite bring myself to do it and I explained before, once you stop something it is harder each day to pick it back up again.

Now for the light at the end of the tunnel! 2011 ended. It was a very symbolic New Years Eve for me. I jumped into the shower at 11:50pm on the last day of 2011 and stepped out into 2012, clean and ready to turn it all around. My grief had attributed to an extra 30 pounds on my short frame and I was determined to take care of that. The Professor and I signed up for a half marathon. We trained hard each week. I started cooking again, and cooking healthy. I unpacked our apartment (something I had avoided due to having to clean out my Grandmother's home and constantly finding her letters among my things.) We started actually exploring our new city. I adopted a puppy, Lil' Bit. My marriage became stronger. I was ready to hit the ground running.

Hello. Is it me you're looking for?

Long time, no blog. And I mean looooooong time. After a few weeks had turned into a few months it became harder and harder to explain my absence from this great community and return. Isn't that how it is with everything? Getting back on the wagon can be hard even for the most un-chore-like activities, like keeping connected with all of you!

There are lots of updates to be updating, and I'll get to all that in due time. Now that I'm back, there will be a facelift to this project, so expect some new and exciting things as well as a new look to the blog. As Little Miss Can't Be Wrong from HIMYF recently told me, I'm not in a holding pattern any longer! We have thrown ourselves fully into our new city, Washington, DC.

I can't wait to say hello to old friends and meet some new ones as well!